Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Trash Talk Tuesday: A mad goat!

"Leave me alone, or you will get so mad that you will be a mad goat! The girl has spoken!"

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Trash Talk Tuesday: Puncture her away!

T's use of action verbs is astounding. Listen to the workout I was going to get last night:

"Puncture Mommy away! Scribble her up to the roof! Prickle everyone out and water them!"

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Trash Talk Tuesday: A burning sun!

Me: "Please scoot out of the chair so I can use the computer, T."

T: "Turn Mom into a nasty, mean, burning hot sun and sell her!"

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Word of the Week: Erinaceous!

This week's word is ERINACEOUS: Of the hedgehog family.

At the health spa, Diamonda lounged in the sauna, engulfed in a pungent seaweed wrap. Her hair protruded in somewhat erinaceous spikes as the attendant massaged citrus oil into her scalp.

“I think I’ll try one of those new avocado-papaya masks,” Diamonda said languidly. “I’ve got to do something about these lines around my eyes before the wedding. I look like some kind of hideous reptile from the early Erinaceous Period!”

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Trash Talk Tuesday: A newt!

"That's it! Straighten Mom into a newt! The girl has spoken!"

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Word of the Week: Mungo!

This week's word is MUNGO: a dumpster-diver; one who extracts valuable things from trash.

Downtown at the health spa, Diamonda sat in the locker room, humming a careless tune and inspecting the cuticles on her left foot.

Suddenly, the room filled with the opening bars of “Stairway to Heaven” as her cell phone began to ring.

Diamonda snatched the phone. “This is Miss Zirconium.”

“Diamonda!” said a familiar voice on the phone. “You’ve got to get down here immediately! Some detective just brought in three of your Uncle Pierre’s antique Egyptian scarabs.”

Diamonda gasped, dropping her emery board. “But the scarabs were stolen from his car in that burglary three weeks ago!”

“Detective Flint claims a mungo found them in a dumpster behind Juanita’s Bar and Grill,” he said. “They’re testing for fingerprints.”

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” she said briskly. “Stall him.”

Towelling off her hair and searching for her other sandal, Diamonda glanced up into the mirror and screamed. “I look like a freak! That cucumber-mungo mud mask turned my face magenta!”

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Trash Talk Tuesday: Scintillating Goose!

"You are a parody vet, you scintillating goose!"